to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
