Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
