I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
