We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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