There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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