Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
