i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just had sex on a roof
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
