wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize