haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
