At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize