shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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