Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
