Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just googled if crying burns calories
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
