this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
