Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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