I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
