let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
