she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
