i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize