I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
