Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
