the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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