saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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