He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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