fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
