Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

I really want to fuck my wifes sister.

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(773): View more from Illinois

im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me

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(307): View more from Wyoming

i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was

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(714): View more from California

Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(336): View more from North Carolina

While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.

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(813): View more from Florida

It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive

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(678): View more from Georgia

You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"

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