absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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