i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
