Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
