Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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