the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
