You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the day after is always just damage control
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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