okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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