my shit smells like andre
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
