This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
