Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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