I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize