bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm bleeding and have questions
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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