Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
