Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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