my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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