Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
