But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
