After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize