a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
