the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
