I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
