he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
