It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
