i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize