Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
