please come you make the beer taste better
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
