Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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