I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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