I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
