Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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