is your mom at the bar?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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