his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
