Porn is love you can see.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
