You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
