So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
