I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
handjob tips. give me some.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
