Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
