We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
